Straight talk

The environmentalists talk about green earth, breathing space, urban forests, replenishing soil, to use resources frugally, never to exhaust them; the economists want us to invest, spend less, save more, buy intelligently; the health gurus are for organic food, daily exercise, control of emotions, meditaion, music, time out in the rain and sunshine, enjoy life and against over exhaustion of the body and mind and for peace of mind ...but when it comes to our children, its WAR!!!
Parents fall over eachother trying to push their kids to the fore front of everything they take part in. The moment a baby is born, the 'art' of comparing begins - How much does he weigh? When did she roll over? When did he walk? Does he talk? Can she write? (the child is just crossing the border of infancy). Can he recite all the rhymes? The list is ofcourse endless...And before he knows anything, a pencil is thrust into his tiny, plump hand and is sqeezed and hurt to make him print the alphabet on paper. The child as he grows up is expected to be both quiet in presence of elders and smart and active when summoned by parents to 'perform' before the guests. She should be talkative, even mouthing big words learnt straight from the adults(Daddy gets so proud when junior imitates him over the phone, even using those swear words reserved for the special occasion) but has to shut her mouth when grown-ups talk. Children are expected to understand the complicated ways of our society and yet are never considered as individuals.We are so quick to label them as naughty, haughty, hyper and dumb at an age when children are just getting used to the new environment, learning the 'rules' of a strange world where a 'yes' could mean 'no' at any point of time depending on situation.
We would buy them anything from candy to those huge 'Transformer' toys just to silence them, so they wouldnt eat our brains out when we are on an important task but turn sour when they become demanding as they do not know an alternative way to contentment in life. To save time, we feed them junk stuff in front of TV, take them out most days and then when they turn to couch potatoes, we blame them to be lazybones. We could have failed every exam in our school days, could have bunked classes, watched movies on the eve of an exam but when it comes to our children, they should be the toppers in every subject, infallible, genuises (though parents can be school dropouts) fighting tooth and nail to get that rank in the class test as if their life depends on it...We demand, threaten, bully, blackmail or even entice to get our child study those boring topics which will be of no use to them when they are out of school/college...
Imagine if that child is special and needs extra care, time, resources for his/her growth. The parents feel burdened, ashamed to be among their peers and the society (I am talking about India) finds it difficult to accept them as normal but makes a point to show extra 'sympathy' which is actually charity packed with low grade pity.

The Bible says that children are a gift from God and every good and perfect gift comes from God. Do we have the right to question or compare the gifts that we receive by grace from God? Is this how we treat a gift from the Creator and Master? Just as a means to satiate our own hidden desires and unfulfilled dreams? We who can spend loads of money on objects of comfort are so stingy when it comes to giving a little encouragement, appreciation and patience. We can never seem to accept a change in our plans that we have made for our children which inculdes, choosing school, college, activities and finally life partner and even sometimes the lives of their children... Thus an artiste would end up suturing a mutilated body, a creative writer might be typing out those stupid codes (which can even be done by a tenth grade student) or a singer might be in the din of concrete mixers and hum of jackhammers...
Why cant we leave them to grow up in their own pace? Why do we expect them to be great achievers? The world is not filled with successful people alone, remember? Why wouldnt we want them to be caring, sharing, loving, soft spoken, individuals who are genuine by nature? Let them be spontaneuos, creative, imaginative, free, enjoying their place in the family and society. Let them not feel burdened to prove out their worth to those very people who are responsible in bringing them to this world and upon whom they are totally dependent on. No matter if they are slow in learning, needs an extra chance everyday, not a smarty, not dextrous, not profecient in anything in particular. Let them be as they are but let them feel acceptable atleast to us, their parents. Let them feel secure, be confident, be an overcomer, stable, honest and be comfortable and proud in their own skin. If this is achieved I would say the child has learnt to live happily in our world.