Childspeak

During a long sermon in a very ornamental church building where the priest went on and on and the congregation lost sense of time and place and were gradually transported to tranquility, a small voice rang out loud and clear, "Momma, enough! I want to go home. I am hungry!"
And when it was over, another angelic voice rang out, "Finished!!"

Abhi and Kia were given bowls of snacks, Abhi quickly finished his and grabbed at his sister's bowl and she screamed in protest. Mother scolded him for being ill-mannered and he replies, "No, Amma, I was just sharing!!!"

All are watching a movie where the heroine, in a strapless knee-length dress dances with her lover and the boy asks his mother startling everyone, "Momma why is auntie shame-shame?"

Son to mother, "Mommy, didn't you say that aunties get babies when they marry? Then did Abhi's mother marry again for she is going to have another baby."

A 6 year old couldn't understand the complexities of relationships. He had earlier watched his parents' wedding on DVD and asked his grandpa, "Grampa, when is your wedding?"

Abhi and his sister Kia were fighting over a toy and in anger he says, "Baby, you are like a donkey". Shocked to hear that, his father tells him to apologise and tell something nice to her. He says, "Baby you are like a tanker truck", which was ofcourse his favourite toy!

A 2 year old is often told not to scream in public by her parents but never listens. Once in a shopping mall, she starts to scream as her parents try desperately to quiet her. Then she stops on her own, walks to her right and puts her finger on her lips and tells "Shhh...stop!" to a boy whimpering near her!

Not wanting to get out of the car 'again' to shop, Abhi tells his parents that he is too sleepy, reluctantly joins them when promised an ice cream, but walks with eyes closed to show the extent of sleepiness. Mother asks him, "If you are so sleepy, how come you are walking?" He answered, still eyes closed, "I am not walking, I am sleep-walking."

As parents waited outside the school compound waiting to pick their kids after school, the bell rang and kids piled out. A few minutes later the bell rang again and the school staff were visibly confused trying to find out who rang the bell the second time. Abhi ran to his mother with a big smile and said, "Amma, I bell the ring". Always ready to correct him, his mother corrected his speech after which he shouted aloud, "Ok, I rang the bell!" Realising danger, his mother quickly whisked him away.

Abhi wrote in his exercise book about the things he would like to do as this, "I like to eat apples because it is good for me. I like to sing songs because it is good for you!"

Abhi is singing worship songs as usual and pretending to preach as well, his sister Kia is watching him closely. She doesn't know songs but desperately wants to do something to impress momma. So she walks up near Abhi and starts to do a "twist" to the Hallelujah song!

In a kindergarten classroom, foul smell filled the small stuffy room. The teacher already at her wits' end, said, "Now you better tell who it was and be honest about it". Touched by her 'sermon', one girl shot her hand up and said proudly, "I did it." Before the teacher could react, more hands went up, all claiming responsibility!!!

Abhi loves dogs a lot and kept pestering his parents for a dog to keep at home. His mother always said no for lack of space in the apartment. One day, he went to stroke a seemingly docile Pomeranian and was visibly shaken when the dog turned, snarled at him and he got a scratch on his hand. On the way back from the clinic after a TT injection, his parents were relieved that for atleast sometime, he wouldn't think of having a dog for a pet. Abhi said, "I don't like dogs anymore" and they smiled knowingly. He added, "I like only puppies."

To a four year old Abhi, his father is trying to explain how poor the boy nearby was who was cleaning up the table in a restaurant. He said, "He is so poor, he doesn't even have slippers to wear." At home, he hears his father tell his mother, "I cant find my slippers anywhere, can I borrow yours for a while?" Abhi comes running to his mother yelling, "Oh no, Papa doesn't have slippers, he is so poor."